A Broken Heart Healed, Frank Park

I write this because I would like to testify concerning an experience I had of our Lord Jesus Christ through being with the Christians who meet with the local churches and from the help of the ministry of both Watchman Nee and Witness Lee.

I meet with the local church in Dunn Loring, Virginia. However, my story begins in a different city in a different state on the very last day of college. It was at graduation that destiny would have it that through a mutual friend I met a young lady. I had gone through four years of college diligently studying and enjoying the Lord Jesus and had never once met her before. I was somewhat prideful that I had never touched liquor, gone to any college parties, or dated during my time at school. The Lord had revealed to me that He is much more enjoyable than these things.

However, after college I found work in northern Virginia where she was from. So it worked out that through our mutual friend, she and I met up in the Washington, D.C. area. Being that I did not have any friends in the area I was quite open to making new friends. Initially I had no thought of pursuing a relationship with her, but after spending a little time with her, I felt very comfortable with her, enjoyed spending time with her and found myself being attracted to her. Much to my excitement, she expressed that she too enjoyed our times together, that she missed me, and that she would like to spend more time with me.

Surprising to me also was that the Lord in me seemed okay with the relationship. I was able to continue to enjoy the Lord in the Word and with the Christians who met with the local church in Dunn Loring. One weekend, due to some family problems that she opened up to me, I spoke the gospel to her and she prayed to confess her sins to the Lord Jesus, asking for forgiveness and for Him to come into her heart! Being that the Lord was so much a part of this relationship, I began to come to the conclusion that she must be the one that the Lord had for me, and my feelings continued to grow much more serious.

All of this happened only in the short span of time of three months. However, just as my feelings became as serious as marriage, she called me one autumn evening to end the relationship saying that she had to work out her problems alone before she would be ready for a serious relationship. After my pleading that we together could work through them, I realized that it was over. It had to be the deepest blow that I ever experienced. I was devastated, and my heart shattered. I told one of my housemates, “I feel that I have an enormous void in my being!” There was much turmoil in my being. I was even angry with the Lord. I could not understand what went wrong. I felt that I had included the Lord in the relationship, that I did not seek this relationship out but that it had found me, and that I did not do anything sinful. “Why, Lord, did you let this happen to me? I did not do anything to deserve this!”

However, by the Lord's sovereign arrangement, one of the brothers who met with the local church in Dunn Loring who I lived with was with me when it all happened. He began to tell me his experience of a terrible break up. He had a relationship that he felt so absolutely satisfied with that he did not need God. So when it ended, he went through major shock. He told me that he thought he was losing his mind. This forced him to seek fellowship with an older brother. This brother told him to spend much time in the Word especially whenever he felt his mind was spinning. “Keep reading even if you feel you are not getting anything. Just spend time in the Word,” he told him. He also told him to pray that the Lord would capture every thought and not to let these thoughts run and take over. Though this did not give me what I wanted back, which was my old girlfriend, this was an enormous supply to have someone with me in my pain. Also, the practical advice was a huge help in going on. I received much shepherding from this brother. Furthermore, another brother from the church in Los Angeles who was visiting told me that the Lord, out of His love for me, as my heavenly priest had given me this experience for my growth in life. This was another encouraging word that I will never forget.

Then in the ministry of Witness Lee, I came across a portion that said that Christ was incarnated to be a man, that through this, He could have sympathy with us and be with us in our struggles. He would rather be a part of what we go through rather than cause our struggles to disappear. This is His love for us.

Also I came across a book by Watchman Nee called The Mystery of Christ that helped me to see that Jesus is one with the believers and we are one with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17) so that when we touch a genuine Christian we touch God in them.

Through these words from Witness Lee and Watchman Nee, I realized that both brothers' word to me was Jesus being with me in my sorrow. I was so thankful to the Lord that I had not gone through this experience alone. He had been with me every step of the way, loving me and caring for me. He did this through the members of His Body, these dear brothers in Christ. This was the Lord Jesus' reaching me in such a personal and intimate way. This caused me to love Him in a much deeper way. Praise the Lord for His sovereignty and His living today through His believers.